Estranged

I stood still as you walked away,
Every step taken trampling the memories we made.
I hold out my hand wanting you to stop,
But all I could feel was my pulse drop.
I wish I could rewind the sands of time;
Bring back the happiness, get rid of the grime.
Live each moment like it will never end
All the way through till our last breath...

But now I stand here alone
Waiting for you to turn back but I know you won't.
I loved you for the person you were
But will remember you for leaving me at the altar.
From the moments of love we spent together,
It's the pain you caused I will remember forever.

I will never forget the twinkle in your eye,
The way you laughed and made me smile.
The way you saw me through my highs and lows,
Supporting every step I took.
But more than ever I will never forget
The way you turned my love into pain and regret.

By Zoha Tapia

In memory of...

It doesn’t matter how far you go,
Whether you leave me standing all alone,
With all those memories, from childhood till now
The tales of me growing up and the support you showered
You will always be there in my heart
In my thoughts even if time draws us apart.
You accepted me for who I was
For my happiness you put the world on pause,
The things I gifted you big or small,
You kept them with you till you were gone.
You held my hand as I walked along,
Through each moment I lived you were in my thoughts
But today all of a sudden, you aren’t there
You left me for a world in which I don’t exist.
Though I am shattered, I try to be strong
I need support but you aren’t there to hold on.
But I know no matter where you are today
You are looking down on me like you did yesterday,
Smiling at ever ladder I climb,
Wanting to hold me through the dust and grime.
But more than ever in your heavenly abode
You are shining down on me protecting my each move.
Though life seems empty without you here
I know you are in a world where someone needs you more than me down here.

The ray of hope - Malala

In a world of conflict,
Filled with violence and gore.
Where there is no hope for peace and justice is an unknown word.
Bigoted men, with heathen like masks
Wreak havoc for those who bring upon their wrath...
There she stood, alone, undeterred
With a pen in her hand, ready to face those with swords.
She seemed like another school girl, all of just fourteen
But beneath her fragile demeanour, was a person of steel.
Men stood back, when there was blood on the streets,
Women hid behind the veil, and suffered the atrocities,
Children were hidden and told not to speak a word,
The government just spoke, while the heathens planned war...
But she was different, courageous and empowered,
Malala wasn’t just a little girl, but an inspiration to all...
She took to the streets with her books and her pen
Spoke words of wisdom and tried to make people comprehend,
What was going on was wrong and they had to fight back
Not through blood, but through actions that would help them resurrect.
Education and empowerment is what she spoke off,
But to the heathens she was a threat, they must get rid of.
They threatened her and bullied her,
Tried to get her out of their way
But though she was little, her heart was brave.
Today, she fights between life and death,
As a bullet of cowardice they fired through her head.
And though she lies on the hospital bed
She woke up the people who were living yet dead.
She showed the world what words can do,
She showed them the power of knowledge and resolute.
Today, as a symbol of hope she shines,
For those seeking an end to the heathens regime...

An ode to a superstar

After a dry monsoon spell, today the skies looked down upon Mumbai. The skies swelled and the clouds burst and it rained. But today’s heavy downpour was symbolic in a way, today, India’s first superstar – Rajesh Khanna passed away. I wasn’t even born when his films released but I can still say that I have grown up on his songs and watching his movies. It is not because my parents or grandparents thought he was a star but because there was a charismatic quality about him, which he exuded on screen. While maybe most of the golden melodies of Hindi cinema have been picturised on him, there was something in the way he acted that made you want to sit up and watch. The fact that he has had 15 back to back solo film hits is enough to speak about that.

At a time when image consultants were unheard of, when there were no PR strategies and publicity gimmicks, the entertainment industry witnessed the meteoric rise of Rajesh Khanna whom we all fondly know as Kaka. He took us away from the socialist era of Dev Anand and Guru Dutt and introduced a new facet of romance to Indian cinema. Long before the Khan’s or even Rishi Kapoor – it was he who was the king of romance. His pairings with Sharmila Tagore, Mumtaz and Asha Parekh are unforgettable and movies like Aradhana, Amar Prem and Kati Patang you feel like watching again and again. He created hysteria amongst his fans, his mere presence during his heydays made time standstill. Women swooned over him and maybe for the first time police had to be deployed to keep his fans at bay, some cried when he announced his marriage to Dimple Kapadia, while thousands turned up to congratulate him and countless number of parents named their children after him – such was the euphoria of this man. It was something people hadn’t seen, which made BBC at that time want to cover his rise to fame – where he very nonchalantly said “Who doesn’t like stardom”.

However, with fame and stardom come the pressures of dealing with it, which is where unfortunately he fell back. Though, in movies like Anand and Namak Haram he even overshadowed Amitabh Bachchan, what he couldn’t do was transform from the romantic hero to the angry hero – which was became in vogue then, but that was partly also due to the fact that though Indian cine goers moved from romance to action, they did not welcome his transition. From the pinnacles of stardom he dropped into the shadows. Not only did his personal life go astray but so did his professional but one thing that never did was his iconic superstar status.

Today, in 2012 when he passed away at 69, not only have tributes poured in from the industry and politicians but from fans beyond his generation. His iconic bungalow – Aashirwad in Mumbai was thronged by many. When the news broke on the 18th of July, it created a sense of disbelief along with frenzy. It wasn’t just social networking sites, news channels and radio channels that were abuzz with the news, but so was Bandra, Mumbai. For all those who stayed in the vicinity of his house, will be able to vouch for the fact that though he is no more his superstar status lives on – with both the young and old gathering to get a last glimpse of the man who showed us what super stardom meant. The road near his sea facing bungalow was blocked, and there were traffic snarls in the neighbouring vicinity. As it poured, the traffic came to a halt and his house once again seemed like what it was when he was in his prime, only this time he wasn’t there to witness it.

Stars will come and go but Rajesh Khanna was, is and always will be India’s first superstar. Though his life came to a halt but his movies, dialogues and songs will always be etched in the history of Indian cinema. Like he himself said Zindagi ek rang manch hai aur hum is rang manch ki katputliyaan hai, jiski dor uparwale ke haath mein, koi nahin janta woh kab inhein kheenchta aur kab dheel deta hai – RIP Kaka.

Resurrection of ruins

Broken from within, completely forlorn
Nothing to look forward to, nothing to hang on.
Alone as ever, in pieces and despair,
With the heart and mind seeming to be beyond repair.
After all the time that has been spent
After all what’s been given and that has been felt,
Today on the path of destruction I stand
In ruins, on this lifeless barren land.
To resurrect myself seems like a task
I try pulling my self together, pushing the destruction in the past.
Forgetting the painful moments that brought me here
Cremating the memories that now at me jeer.
Detaching myself from those I called mine
Only to realise that they will drift away in time.
I look down at myself shrivelled and curled
Like a little foetus, craving warmth from the womb.
But I need to rise like the phoenix from within
Come out and live and not be hidden.
I have nothing to lose, nothing to hide
No prewritten rules, no societal guides.
A new journey I can now begin
The road to transformation starts with ruins.
With an open mind, I take my first step
For new pastures, experiences and relationships.
I may fall once more, and be scathed again
But every time I am ruined, a new beginning will beckon.
Ruined I maybe, but resurrect myself I will
Till the time, I haven’t risen, till the time peace within me I haven't felt.

A silent prayer

He held her mercilessly,
With no remorse in his eyes.
Wrapped in a ragged cloth,
She stared, trying to understand his wrath.
An occasional quiver, a slight shiver.
Though tiny and speechless, she was intuitive about her impending future.

Pushed onto the side
Her mother stood stoic in silence.
This wasn’t the first and neither the last.
Though grief-stricken, her tears dried with experiences of the past.

As she drew closer to her dug-out grave,
She let out a whimper and wished to speak.
Her heart jumped - leaps and bounds,
As she hoped someone would notice the tears that rolled down.

Each tear held an untold plea,
A plea to let her live and see.
“I know you look me as a burden,
An expenditure, which would increase as I turn maiden.
I seem of no use besides being in the four walls of your mansion,
Just like an old piece of furniture or an oil-stained utensil.
Constantly reminding you how fruitful it would be to have bore a son,
Who would take care of your farm and not make you bear a dowry amount.
But I still beg for that one chance.
The chance to live, watch, feel and dance.
The chance to prove I am more than just furniture
That I can do all that your son can in the future.
Make a difference in your lives
And be the apple of my daddy’s eyes.
To let my mother relive her childhood,
And be your caregiver all through.
The chance to flip through books old and new,
Learn new arts and my worth prove.
To leave my footprints for others to follow,
And fill your hearts with pride and honour.
Give me a chance to live for others,
As a daughter, sister, friend and mother.
I know it’s tough but I continue to plead
And ask you to break the barriers to which society heeds.
As you bury me under the soil,
This same society you uphold will live in turmoil.
It’s not just a daughter you are killing,
But future sons, whom without a daughter would not come into being.
I pray for the last time as you lay me down
Spare me and save your future now.”

But alas! Her pleas were left unheard
As the sand suffocated her every whimper.
No one came forth, for her no one stood.
But continued to call themselves custodians of customs and all that’s good.
Like her, nameless, more girls will be buried alive,
And live we will in the darkness and die blind.

-By Zoha Tapia

Reminiscing.....

As I sit back I wonder why
Why do I keep thinking about you as each day passes by?
Why is it I still remember those times we spent
Analysing everything you said and meant?
It’s been a while since we parted
But the thoughts haven’t yet from my mind departed.
You hurt me enough and made me cry
But it was you who also made me smile
You gave me enough pain to last me a lifetime
But at the same time you moulded me into the person I am
You covered my weaknesses and brought out my strengths
But it was you who made me weak again.
You made me feel special after a really long time
Made me realise that I have someone I can call mine.
You made me walk with my head up high
Without any worries, troubles and nothing to cry.
I fell in love for the very first time
And dreamt of my future with you by my side.
But the dream was soon over and my nightmare begun
You left me stranded, alone and stung.
You made me cry and I hated you for that
You left my side when I needed you real bad.
It didn’t take you time to say goodbye
Forget the love, there seemed to be no remorse in your eye.
But even after all that pain
About you I still feel the same.
I still want to see you coming back
To hold my hand and love me back.
I cherish those moments sweet and sour
Which made me and you whom we are.
I try to analyse how much ever I can
Wonder why I feel for you through so much angst.
However, complicated my thoughts seem
The answer is simple and the only reason I need.
You are the first and will always be
No matter how much pain you have inflicted upon me
Those happy memories will make me feel complete.
You have taken my heart and I don’t want it back
Because without you in something my life will always lack.
Someone else may come and liven up my life
But you will always remain special, the first love of my life.